This article is the continuation of our series of articles aimed at helping you understand your “explosions” and to free yourself from your guilt. Here are the links to previous articles, in case you missed them:
– Article 1: Aurélie… or the story of an overwhelmed mother!
– Article 2: I exploded… I yelled at my daughter!
– Article 3: The dark side of Benevolent Parenthood
Let’s go !!
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It is THE “anti-perfectionism” solution to free you from your uncontrolled anger
and become a serene mom (even when you slip up)
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But let’s get to the heart of today’s topic:
You are on a plane, ready to take off.
The hostess unfolds the safety instructions.
She explains that in the event of a problem, if the oxygen masks fall off,
The instructions are clear:
“If you are with a child, put on the mask first … on yourself.
And then put a mask on your child. ”
It’s counterintuitive when you’re a mom.
We would all be ready to go there to save our children.
But if you think about it …
How can you take care of your children… if you are dying yourself?
The n ° 1 mistake of the protective parent is to strive to find the best way to take care of his child …
Even if it means sacrificing oneself.
It is a mistake.
Children are our mirrors.
If you devalue yourself, they will never feel up to it.
If you never show a touch of emotion, they will never learn to welcome theirs.
If you don’t accept your “imperfection”, they too will always seek to be perfect.
Your child doesn’t need a perfect parent who always knows how to react well.
He needs a real person, with his emotions, with his own needs, with his thoughts, his values, his skills… and his limits.
Life is not always smooth and positive.
Our children need to be armed to face the difficulties of life.
And their best way to teach them… is to show them that no one is infallible.
Especially not you.
This is TRUE benevolence.
So the first step… is to put on your oxygen mask.
To take care of yourself… even before them.
How do you take care of yourself?
This is something that often comes up in positive parenting.
It is described to us as a “mandatory” step.
Like an extra effort to stick to the image of the perfect parent, who always knows what to do… and who, moreover, takes time for himself.
This is not what I am telling you about.
You may not have time to go for a drink once a week …
Nor to breathe in a straw every time the anger rises …
Just to complete the “take care of myself” task.
And I know it well, I have been like you for a long time.
I offer you something different, to appease you.
I offer you in-depth work.
(In depth, but that can be quite quick and easy)
It is to work on REAL CAUSES.
The real causes of your anger.
And the real causes of your guilt.
Until you understand the real causes of your “uncontrolled explosions”, you will suffer them.
(and breathing through a straw will only delay the bomb ;-))
Until you understand the real causes of your guilt, you will be doomed to think of yourself as a bad mom.
The REAL causes, I explain them in the presentation page of the program “Imperfect… and proud of it”.
In particular, you will discover the concept of the Iceberg (and a beautiful diagram):
- with its visible part: your explosive reactions, your terrible guilt
- and its invisible part: their real causes
Click here to discover the real causes
of your anger and your guilt
I look forward to seeing you in tomorrow’s article to explore in detail the real causes of your “moments of explosion”… and how to free yourself from them.
Friday’s article will be dedicated to the real causes of our “faithful companion”: Guilt (and how to say goodbye).
Take care of yourself,