This article is the continuation of our series of articles aimed at helping you understand your “explosions” and to free yourself from your guilt. Here are the links to previous articles, in case you missed them:
– Article 1: Aurélie… or the story of an overwhelmed mother!
– Article 2: I exploded… I yelled at my daughter!
– Article 3: The dark side of Benevolent Parenthood
– Article 4: A flight attendant … to take care of your child with peace of mind
– Article 5: The stress bath theory: the real causes of your uncontrolled anger
– Article 6: Dear guilt: FAREWELL!
– Article 7: Leave your past behind … to finally move forward
– Article 8: 153 grams to become a serene mother
I have always been brilliant.
If we talk one day, you will surely have the impression that my journey is exemplary.
I have always strived to become a brilliant student, a precious friend, a model student, an available employee, a comforting spouse.
And honestly, I succeeded.
I accomplished – not without difficulty – all the (unconscious) challenges that I set for myself.
Until the day I had children.
I (still) felt invested with a mission: make them happy, fulfilled, at all times and at all costs.
I have made considerable efforts.
I read everything, I trained, I applied everything.
Eight years ago, in addition to having to fulfill my role as a flawless mother, I became the parent model of more than 100,000 parents, readers of our blog.
So I, more than anyone else, HAD to react in the right way under all circumstances.
My life as a flawless mother has long been disastrous.
I was deeply unhappy.
My children were pushing me to the limit.
Every opposition from them, every fork on the floor, every argument between my children… it was stronger than me.
I was exploding.
The dragon in me was taking over.
I was pouring out incomprehensible anger on them. And I took 3 days to recover.
And I realized that I was becoming the complete opposite of the mother I had sworn to be.
I was haunted by the image of this violent, stressed mother who would traumatize her children for life.
I was on my way to miss the best years of my children. (and mine)
One morning, I was inevitably going to find myself helpless, facing an uneasy teenager, distant, who no longer trusted me.
I had the terrible feeling that I had failed to live up to the most important mission of my life.
And the worst part was that I saw light, happy parents around me.
Not perfect, but happy.
It turned my stomach around… because they knew 10 times less than I did about the child’s brain, about caring parenting.
What did they have more than me?
It took me years to understand …
It was my will to do well that made me terribly unhappy:
- I wanted at all costs to have the right reaction to each behavior of my children,
- I couldn’t accept being tired or stressed,
- I took it upon myself to suppress my explosive anger reactions (without trying to understand them)
- I felt guilty at the slightest wrong word, at the slightest moment taken for me … without trying to understand what made me feel so guilty.
Besides that, parents who “let go” spent quality time with their children, forged family bonds and did not waste their lives with permanent guilt.
Here is the (unpleasant) truth:
- If you accept yourself as you are (even when you slip up), you will probably be serene all your life… and in turn, your children too.
- If you make considerable efforts to improve yourself, if you have this incredible will to always have the right reactions… then you doom yourself to disappoint yourself all your life…
… And one day seeing your children devalue themselves, too.
It’s not easy to let go when you have “controlled” your whole life.
Fortunately…. Letting go can be learned.
Being serene, reducing your moments of “explosion”, having the certainty that you are a wonderful mother (even in the event of a slippage)… is a matter of habit.
Just because you are in control today … doesn’t mean you will function like this all of your life.
Your operations, your ways of thinking, your reactions… nothing is set in stone.
Everything can change (even if it seems hard to believe today).
And it takes less time than it sounds.
With a little practice, you can:
- understand and choose the behaviors that really do you good, those that feed your deep needs,
- become indulgent and benevolent with yourself,
- no longer consider yourself as “The stressed / anxious / angry mom”, but like a wonderful mom who does what she can
- become a whole and human person: with his talents and his limits… who accepts them and assumes them!
On a scale of 1 to 10, how happy are you in your life as a mom?
This question reflects your current ability to let go.
If you have the will to learn to calm down …
Then you should seriously consider joining “Imperfect … and proud of it”.
(Especially since the exceptional rates that we have been offering you since last Wednesday (-100 € reduction for the full package, -200 € for the DUO package) will not be no longer available tomorrow night at midnight…)
You will learn how to free yourself from your uncontrolled anger and believe again that you are a wonderful mom in all circumstances (even when you get out of hand).
As of today, you will receive Module 1: “State of play: understand what is going on in me… and soothe myself in the event of a crisis”.
You will immediately be able to download your Tracking Book… which will become your “lifeline” for all your difficult moments.
By the end of Module 1 (in a week’s time), you will have a clear view of explosive situations and know how to stay calm.
Then, every week for 4 weeks, you will receive a new module:
- Module 2 “The impact of my personal story on my way of parenting” will help you to detach yourself from everything that dictates your current behaviors,
- Module 3 “I welcome and take care of what I live” will teach you how to meet your REAL needs yourself and choose the behaviors that really make you feel good.
- Module 4 “I say STOP to Guilt!” will show you how to see yourself as a wonderful person (with your talents and limitations) and become (finally) forgiving and kind to yourself.
- Module 5 “Towards more serenity on a daily basis” will teach you how to put into perspective the stormy passages with your family and take full advantage of the good times …
You will pass on to your children the key to development: accepting yourself as you are!
Do this work on me, understand me, accept me …
It changed my life.
I did not become a perfect mom.
I always get annoyed when Lou hits his sister.
But I know myself, I know my triggers.
I know how to take care of myself, rest without feeling guilty …
I know how to say the things that upset me, share the mental load, express and welcome my emotions …
I know my needs well, and I know how to feed them without demanding it from others (Olivier, my children, my friends).
Which greatly limits my moments of uncontrollable anger!
And when I still happen to explode …
So I put things into perspective, it hardly impacts me anymore.
Because I have confidence in myself, I now have the deep conviction that I am a wonderful mother to my children.
Doing this work on yourself is soothing, guilt-free.
I recommend it … even if you don’t want to join our program.
Besides, you can very well take a notebook and a pen and do your own work on you, right now.
It is a very beautiful path which is offered to you.
But if you decide to join the program, you will get:
- personalized exercises to teach you to think differently (and stop feeling guilty about it all the time)
- meditations to soothe you as soon as you need it,
- a logbook to know what to do in difficult times,
- explanatory videos to fully understand how you operate,
- A 100% “Satisfied or refunded” guarantee for 30 days.
Click here to choose your formula and register
To support you in this period where being a parent is even more complicated than usual, we offer you, until tomorrow evening: -100 € reduction (and -200 € reduction on the DUO formula)!
Here are some testimonials from mothers who have taken the plunge:
Take care of yourself,